WHY WE SHOULD BE OPEN TO THERAPY, EVEN WHEN WE’RE NOT

image by misty trone photography

I remember the first time I went to therapy. It was a lovely woman’s home in Beverly Hills. She had an office on the second floor of her home overlooking her pool. She was older. At least I thought she was. I was 21. Or 22. She was probably late 40’s, early 50’s. I was a bit embarrassed to be there. A bit ashamed. A bit lost. And a bit terrified. Lucky for me, she rid me of my anxiety 10 minutes into our session. And also, I didn’t die a slow death in a therapists office on a Wednesday.

It took me a bit to realize the depths of my history and what it all meant. What it currently means. And what it will mean in 20 years. The thing about evolving as a human, is I’m seemingly more open (if that’s even possible) as the years go by. I’ve always been open. Willing to learn. Willing to share. Willing to bare my soul on day one. But as we evolve, we also are willing to unravel even more truth. More to the unknown. To our own mess. To our possible fate. 

This can be scary shit. 

But you know, they say, happiness is on the other side of fear.

It’s true though.

Therapy isn’t for everyone. But maybe it should be.  We should be open to it, even when we’re not. And here’s why.

AN EMPATHETIC VIEW

Having the ability to openly speak to someone knowledgable, educated and empathetic and to be able to unveil any and all truths that have been weighing on your soul, is the slow but steady track to salvation. To freedom. Upon finding a wonderful therapist, the windows of possibilities begin to open on so many levels. Because the unknown is scary. Digging can be scary. Digging deep into the “what really happened 20 years ago?” is a surefire way to unveil the very reasons we might be stuck. Stuck in love. Stuck in patterns. Stuck in life.  And a safe place to speak and to listen, can be healing on multiple levels.

BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW IT ALL

As a young adult I thought I really had it all figured out. I had a job, money in the bank, a few relationships under my belt. A nice car. Even my very own little home in West Hollywood. But I kept getting stuck and needed help out. I needed to understand my patterns. My behaviors. My frustrations. And I needed to learn how to shift. This is where age works in your favor. And as we grow, we learn that we need to be open to healing. To listening. To learning. And to putting our egos aside and learning to trust that it’s ok if we don’t have it all figured out.

BABIES CHANGE EVERYTHING

Enter my 30’s. New home, new husband. New baby, new life.  It was a lot. And although I thought I kinda had it all figured out, I didn’t know shit.  None of us did really. We are all a current work in progress, figuring it out one day at a a time. And it’s ok. No really, it’s ok. Especially as a new mother/parent, the changes are astronomical and it behooves you to sit back and be ok with understanding that sometimes we need help. We need assistance. We need to hear it out loud that we don’t have it all together and be ok with the process of becoming better.

IT WORKS

Therapy has done wonders for myself, for my marriage, and ultimately for my family. Research says verbalizing feelings have a significant therapeutic effect on the brain. And it couldn’t be more profoundly true. I’ve said it before, I’m a work in progress as most humans are, and checking in on myself and my patterns and my sadness or disappointments, is all par for the course. It works. I’m better. I’m evolved. I’m grateful and open.

FIND YOUR THERAPIST

Word of mouth means a lot in this town. In any town. Reputations when it comes to therapists, are crucial. Reach out. Do your research. Experience your first session. It may SUCK. It might also be the best thing you ever do. But don’t be discouraged if your person is not the first session you go to. But do go. And don’t let shame trigger you. Shame has no business here. NONE.

I’m not ashamed of going to therapy. Not quite sure how I was to begin with. Maybe it was not knowing. Not being ok with knowing that I’m not perfect. Well, newsflash, none of us are. Today, I’m older, I’m wiser, I’m a better listener. And I’m grateful. I believe working on myself and becoming a better person can only impact the world in a better way than if I didn’t. 

I don’t go to therapy all the time. (Who can afford to?) Also, (who has time?) But sometimes I go. And sometimes 2 years go by and I haven’t been. There are no rules. But I do go. Because it’s important. Because it’s astonishingly helpful. Because we aren’t meant to walk it alone.

And because I’m right here with you.

K that’s it. Love you bye.