WHERE IS MY FREAKING MOM MANUAL?

I know. Motherhood doesn’t come with one. There’s a trillion books out there covering everything from labor to childbirth to snotty noses to preschool, but the real shit? Nowhere to be found. Where’s my freaking manual? Cuz I need it, today. And I’m not sorry. 

I want my damn manual.

MOTHER-IMPERFECT

I love Instagram. In fact it's one of my favorite places to live. Probably yours too if you're sitting here with me right now. Sip coffee. Scroll. Sip. Scroll. Work. Lunch. Laundry. Homework. Work. Wine. Scroll. More wine. Baby baths. Scroll. Bed. It's exhausting. it's also quite literally composing a small threat to people everywhere. Because it's deceiving. And that's Ok. It's a free country. A free format. But for the record, cropped photos and good lighting can create distrust, because let's be honest, good lighting ain't real life. And today, I would just like to provide you all with a little bit of insight. Because today, let's just call it what it is. Let's just call her Mother-imperfect. 

QUEEN CAFFEINE

Coffee much? I'm currently on the couch with my babies on my 2nd cup and I'm no stranger to the term caffeinated. It's a sort of lifestyle if you will. It's called the marriage between a mother and the beginning of every day. And we're gonna keep it that way. Lucky for you, if you're in the market for coffee, or your mother, in-laws or favorite Aunt is, or perhaps you need a stellar gift for one of these fine folks, today is your day.