THE SWEET SPOT / WHEN YOUR KIDS ARE LITTLE AND YOUR PARENTS ARE HEALTHY

image by sydney clawson

I’m not sure if I heard this on the podcast or on the Breńe Brown Netflix special the other night. Either way, download both. Breńe Brown is brilliant. And clearly has a way with words. Like profound. Literally, she researches all the things we’re too busy and quite honestly, too vulnerable to research. Things like vulnerability. And shame. And it’s funny, once you hear her evaluate these terms in the most adolescent conversational form, everything you thought you knew about life, seems less difficult. Less painful. It makes sense. In other words, she makes it easy for you by conjuring up truth and speaking it straight to your face. And then she says things like this: “Enjoy that sweet spot when your kids are little and your parents are healthy.” Sigh. And then you go and cry a puddle of tears on the bathroom floor. At least that’s what I did. 

Perspective is funny. Like, yesterday, I was on the sofa nursing my twins back to health. They should have been in pre-school, and me in work zone, but life happens and so I took dual temperatures and watched Sesame Street on the sofa while I worked on this piece. It’s what we do. It’s what I do. And that quote by Breńe Brown was haunting me through each tap of the keypad. And I got a lump in my throat and all at once I wanted to change my plans. Not my whole life per-se, but stuff. Lots of stuff. Like listen to my heart and live accordingly. Bravely.

Here’s the thing. The sweet spot to me is most definitely when your kids are little and your parents are healthy. I realized this in full effect yesterday, on the sofa with my babies. The clock was ticking, the laundry was drying, my teeth weren’t brushed and right there in the middle of a tissue wiping my babies face moment, I missed my Mom and Dad. I became a panic and started scrolling through photos of when they were here last and watching videos on my phone of the kids peeing their pants from Grandpa making funny faces. This scrolling quickly became smiling, then became crying and those tears dropping became the soundtrack to my heart beating. One beat at a time. It’s life, in black and white. It’s joy in milliseconds on a smart phone. Smiles, laughter, sneezing, joking, hugging, kissing and all the other emotions you can muster up when sitting in the center of joy.

And that is the sweet spot. 

It’s recognizing that days are numbered and life is only made up of the days we have. And how they count to you. Suddenly I’m crying like a baby right here and I realize it’s probably that time of month. I’m a mess. And I’ll admit it happily. Because how my life counts to me is measured by how it makes me feel. If what I’m doing today brings me joy on all levels, then be that. If booking a ticket to the west coast tomorrow and making plans with family makes your heart sing, then do that. 

That sweet spot that I’m sitting in right now, right here today is up for grabs. It wants you like grass wants water. It’s for the taking. It wants you to feel all the feels. Like watching my Mom dance with my daughter like no one is watching. And seeing their laughter unfold like sorority sisters is quite honestly the sweetest spot you’ve ever seen.  

Maybe it’s not your sweet spot. Maybe yours is something else. Maybe it’s traveling to the Pyramids and writing a thesis on it. Maybe it’s getting your law degree even when you think it’s unlikely. Maybe it’s visiting your Grandma even though she lives 4000 miles away and doesn’t know who you are anymore. Or maybe it’s working your dream job and being home for bath time with your littles. 

Or maybe it’s this. It’s whatever you’re feeling right now, here today and it feels good.  

Feel it. 

Like me, counting down the days till Grandpa is here making thin pancakes with my kids in the kitchen while Mimi and I look at what’s on sale at Nordstrom on my laptop. Or we look at Pinterest together dreaming of a house reno project while sipping our favorite Pinot Grigio. Or just laying together on the couch, with them. Key word, with them.

This is my sweet spot and recognizing it means this: I’m going to relish in it, be in it and remember it, for it won’t always be this sweet spot, this time, in April 2019.