A SENSE OF SAFETY

I listened to Brene Brown this afternoon on her new podcast (courtesy of reminder from @eliseloehnen  from GOOP). Smart move. She (Brene Brown) was all the things, including, the simple act of being ok with not knowing what the fuck we are doing. (It’s ok, she cusses, and let’s not point the finger.) Her soothing voice (and cuss words actually) calmed me at a time when i needed calming. I think we could all use some calming. Case in point, my mama tonight on a Zoom chat. And here’s why.

We are all freaked out. What in the hell is actually happening? Someone let us know. Oh, and by the way, that someone doesn’t know either so we are all basically hanging on a very skinny thread. Tough shit. But truth. I’m a little scared. Not gonna lie. But, here’s what I know. I know myself. And I have hope for the future. Even if the numbers I’m currently reading on my iPhone 11 don’t say so, I have hope here. Because I just do.

You see, right now, the world is in such a weird scary unknown place, that I can’t actually determine factual information other than what is coming in right now at this very minute on my phone. We just don’t know. And with that, if you’re a parent, and more specifically, a mother, this is what I have to say.

I’m scared a little. I’m not one for the unknown. I like to plan. I like the knowing. It’s part of my DNA. But today it is not built for me. It’s built for what it is. It’s built for what will become of us. And not me, not you, and not anyone can determine the future, except by doing our part, by staying home, by distancing from others and by keeping our family safe and quarantined for the foreseeable future. 

Weird. I know.

It’s like we are in the middle of a weird Netflix movie and we can’t wake up. But truth is, we are here. And it’s happening.

And here’s the real reel. Our children sense us. They sense all of it. With my 8 (almost 9 yr old) daughter we have spoken some truth into her. But no more than she can handle. Because, sense of safety.

Our other 2 are 4 year old twin boys who wake up every day thinking which pop tart am I going to unwrap today? Which color juice cup is mine this morning? And what could we possibly be having for dinner tonight? Hot-dogs or Spaghetti? 

As far as they are concerned, life as we know it, is happening. 

And it’s A M A Z I N G.  

Fair enough. 

Why would we flatten that curve? Why would we spoil the goodness that is childhood and innocence and the absence of worry?

Well, nope, not today Satan.

Today we practice a SENSE OF SECURITY. 

Today we show the children that they are going to be ok. That the world is a little off and there’s some strong things happening in the atmosphere, but assuring them that we are going to be ok.

I read a passage recently about protection and our children. And how too much of a bubble in this real world can harm them. And…..I concur. But for my 4 year olds, I think it’s wise if we just  remain calm and offer them a sacred sense of security. For their sanity. And quite honestly for ours. 

The unknown is strange. It’s unmarked territory and we really have no control. 

I hate that.

I’m a virgo. I like a bit of control. I’m also an extrovert. So truthfully, this quarantine is TORTURE.

However. Hear me out. If we can follow protocol and stop this nasty virus from infiltrating our entire globe, then let’s follow protocol.

But let’s also create some normalcy and a true sense of security. Here’s a few ideas.

LOVE.

As if I can’t preach this enough on a daily basis, just do it. Just love your people. Just give and give and give until it feels like you’re not going to snap. It’s only going to better us in the long term. And forever.

BE TOGETHER AND HOLD IT TOGETHER.

If you asked me the last time I’ve been this one on one with my family, it’s been a minute. BUT I’M ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH IT. Aside from hearing ‘MOMMY!” every 10 minutes, I’m sane. I’m in love with my family. I’m content eating what’s in our pantry for the foreseeable future. That being said, a lot of togetherness can cause a lot of stress. Here’s where we adults can really shine. HOLD. IT. TOGETHER. I know it’s hard, but try. If it’s too much, leave the room. Walk outside. Yoga. We can do this.

GO FOR A FAMILY WALK.

Nature is amazing. And we take it for granted obviously. Today we took a family walk and we saw the horses out. We wondered what they were thinking. If they noticed the silence. The less traffic. The boys picked me flowers. Dad and I got a work out. And held hands. It. Was. Awesome.

GET OFF YOUR DEVICE.

I know. It’s easier. Letting them take their devices and devour them like Oreo ice cream is easier. But it’s no solution. So we break from them as much as we can. And we turn to puzzles. To re-organizing closets. And toys. And baking. And movies. And MUSIC. And DANCING!!!! Who knew I loved to dance. I miss it. SO MUCH.

NORMALCY.

Creating a normal routine despite the abnormalities of what’s happening in the world in real time is incredible important. It’s actually paramount for our little’s brains. They need to know life is ok. It doesn’t have to be perfect but it doesn’t have to be a catastrophe. There is a difference. Be conscious. Our kiddos are the future.

Here’s the deal. I’m a fucking mess. Truth. I feel like i’m in a film (as an extra) in the quick sand of the backyard pool. DISLIKE. No likey. However. the sun will rise. It just will. Even when you think it won’t. So cut yourself some slack and head into home school like a boss and do your best. 

If your kiddos feel safe, you’re winning.

Case closed.

K. I truly love you and wish you luck. 

love you bye. x