5 REASONS THE HUSBANDS NEED A #GNO

image by sydney clawson

They are steady and strong, brilliant and funny. They are also quick to say “enjoy yourself babe, you need a night out with the girls.” Yet deep down inside the crevices of their industrious souls, they are desperately seeking that human connection too. They most likely don’t show it. They probably don’t speak of it either. They just wake up, head to work, finish up, head home and start the whole thing all over again in the a.m. The all American Man. And the all American Dream. Now hold up, this isn’t a feel sorry for the boys they don’t have any fun story. I know better than that. Because they do. A lot of them do. But let’s be honest, none of that dream, nor the work load will result in the men saying they need a “GNO”. They just won’t.  So here’s 5 reasons the husbands actually do need a guys night out and why it’s a game changer for their mental health. 

CONNECTION

Back when my husband and I were dating, he had a Monday night boys club. Sure it was copious amounts of lager and fodder that women would hardly speak of, but it was important to the men. It was their connection. A place to vent. To talk shit. And be themselves without any other agenda. Those days are long gone, because, kids, school, marriage, increased work load, more responsibility, and people move away. In other words, we all grow up. But this connection is paramount for clarity. For the soul. For all things critical to good health. And men need this, still. 

MARRIAGE PAUSE

It’s funny, women jump to the opportunity to leave the house, put on lipstick in the car and head to meet a friend for dinner. They live for this. Mostly because it fuels their soul, or mostly to escape the kids for a couple hours, but also because it’s a pause from the marriage. A clear break from your partner, to see yourself outside the marriage, on your own, but with friends who lift you up, make you laugh and also, just listen. Pre-marriage, this existed non-stop for the men. A re-ignition would be advantageous.

SPORTS NIGHT

I remember an old boyfriend of mine lived for a fight. One in particular that comes to mind was the Tyson/Holyfield fight where Tyson bit Holyfield’s ear off. Horrifying I know. But the pleasure he felt from the gathering of the dudes was colossal. He was so happy. Case in point, not too long ago when the bestie’s husbands decided to get together, they ended the GNO with a fight. They drank the beer, watched the fight, and ate the snacks. And my husband woke up unimaginably happy. Imagine that.

CHILDREN

Let’s face it. Kids are a lot. They’re just , a lot. Just last night the echo from the rainbow unicorn on the fireplace wouldn’t turn off, the twins had left a trail of goldfish that had been trampled on under the tent, there was spilled milk in the pantry, two out of the three kids were screaming for various reasons and for the life of us, none of the kids would eat their carrots. Sigh. Here’s the thing. Men are not built like women. Their instincts are nothing like ours. Their patience is not in the same vicinities as that of an experienced Mother. It’s ok. No harm here. But stepping outside the circus to be with other men whose similar situations at home deem exhausting and sometimes enraging, it can be truly beneficial. For them, and for us. 

STRESS

It’s no wonder golf is a male dominated sport. It’s also been widely recognized as one of men’s top favorite physical recreations. In this case, most likely this has to do with the relief of stress. I’m pretty certain it is. Because, when I see men on the golf course smoking a cigar on a Saturday, they are most definitely stress free. Even for a moment. Or two hours.  A guys night out, whether it be Top Golf, an afternoon on the golf course, or wings and Guinness at the Irish pub, it’s a stress reliever. It’s a load off. And I’ve seen this for myself in real time that it’s not only effective, but it changes the course of their mental health. 

Men need relief. So do us women. But we are much better at prioritizing a girls night out and or self care at the snap of a swipe. This Valentine’s I really don’t want chocolate. Some roses might be nice. But no dinner, no fancy gift, just a mutual agreement that he gets out with his buddies every once in a while. And that he truly decompresses. And basks in that relaxed state of being. Because that’s more important than steak and pomme frites to me. Or a gift card to Nordstrom. At least that’s how I’m feeling this a.m.