WE ARE ALL UNDER CONSTRUCTION

I’m not sure where I heard it. But it smacked me in the face like a paddle off the side of an old fishing boat. It made such literal sense to me. It was humbling. In the most common, human way. We are all under construction. Maybe it’s because I’m older now and I have more mileage under my belt. Or because I’m a mother. Or maybe  it’s because I live more intently. Maybe because being vulnerable in my forties is an actual beautiful and baffling thing. I know, it might sound weird. But maybe it makes complete sense to you too. 

This is what I love about the new year. It’s a fresh start. A new opportunity to observe. To live. To be fully present. To be vulnerable. I’m a fan of vulnerability. I learned it early on from an acting teacher in my teens. Back then, it was perhaps, a way of coping with whatever flaws I saw inside myself. I let it all hang out. I loved with everything I had, unafraid if I’d be loved back. I cried real tears in front of my peers in the middle of a performance. I lived. I learned.  It was liberating. It was also scary as shit. Then I grew. And grew. I made some perfectly innocent mistakes. Made some considerable choices too. And today, I’m still vulnerable.  And my heart is wide open. And here’s why. 

We are all human. We are all imperfectly flawed. I’m not in my teens anymore obviously. I know more today. I know abundantly more. More experience. More knowledge. More truth. The stakes are higher, the depth is greater, but It goes heaps deeper than that.

My husband says I love to talk. (Talking is not his favorite.) And he’s right, I love to talk.  But I also listen. And with the listening, there’s learning. I’ve read it at least a thousand times that if we’re not learning, we’re not growing. And that has become my greatest teacher. And daily mantra. It’s in the conversations and the observations, that we understand we are not alone in this universe. That we are all under construction, on the journey to becoming our best self. To forgiveness, to enlightenment. To fully accepting who we are and who we are supposed to be. 

Have you ever listened to a song or a priest or preacher speak something into your heart like it was meant for you? Like you were supposed to hear those words and somehow it felt like God speaking to you?

That happens frequently in your forties. And it’s your ticket to freedom.

Yesterday I listened to a podcast and the Author Steven Pressfield talked about resistance. (It’s an entirely different blog post to get into it,) so I’ll leave you with this paddle to the head off the side of an old fishing boat. 

“The more important an activity is to your soul’s evolution, the more resistance you will feel to it and the more fear you will feel. But the pain of not doing it. is worse than doing it.”

Today is 2019. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to look perfect. It just has to be built. You. Me. We are all under construction and It’s just time to GO. To let go. To go forward. To lean in. 

That’s all I got.

I’m rooting for us all. Love you bye.