DEAR HUSBAND, I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT, BUT WE WILL REMEMBER WHEN

It’s summer and we are in the trenches. Perhaps that’s just our new face. Our in the trenches always face. Perhaps that’s what comes with the territory of having 4 kids. And although it’s summer, it’s certainly not a relaxed perfect break. It’s chaotic and busy as ever. And although my husband is not one for chaos, and I clearly embrace it with every inch, deep down, I know he will miss this busy baby stage of life too. And here’s why. 

There’s a song by Alan Jackson called ‘Remember When’. I remember the first time I heard it on the radio, my husband turned it up and I just listened. I distinctly remember looking out the window of his old red Toyota truck and on the 4th or 5th verse Alan Jackson sings “remember when, thirty seemed so old now lookin’ back, it’s just a steppin’ stone”. I stopped. Dead in my tracks. Looked at myself in the rearview mirror and began to sob. I was 31.

It’s so typical a good country song lyric stops me in my tracks. It’s so fitting for my life. For me as a writer, marrying a writer, and discovering an entire playlist of songs that make you think about your life as a whole. It’s pretty majestic actually. 

Fast forward to tonight, my husband was sitting on one of the twin toddler’s beds, and the three kids were playing crash the truck. They were giggling innocently and taking scores of who crashed it the most. I observed from the other side of the room to really let the moment sink in. From 5:30 am up until now, it was a chaotic summer Nashville day with crying toddlers who didn’t like the flavor of their yogurt, to someone falling off their bike in the living room, to celebrating a massive toddler poop post supper. And here we were playing trucks on a Tuesday night.

Yeah, he’s gonna miss these days too. He’s gonna REMEMBER WHEN.

And although he won’t admit it now amongst the everyday chaos, the bills that must be paid, the scrapes and bruises that need bandaids and the sleepless nights we still have due to “monsters” in the twin’s room, I know in the depths of my soul, he will miss these days.

And suddenly, mid type, I find my way back to the song and to this lyric.

“Remember when the sound of little feet was the music we danced to week to week”.

And there I go. Waterworks. The song is written, like it’s to me. The truth. The simplicity of what our life is right now, like the current tiny footsteps we hear every morning. Literally, it moves me to a place I don’t want to ever forget. To our beautiful and crazy life. 

Come to think of it, I probably should’ve written this as an actual letter to my husband tonight to demand he listens to this song and replays tonights playing with trucks on a loop in his visual mind. As a reminder, to sit back and enjoy what is now.  And how truly blessed we are.

I for one know this to be true. Regardless, whether it’s 5 years from now, or 15, we will most definitely be missing these days. And I think it’s a solid reminder to us all to be present, and soak up the joy, one second at a time. That’s all. K husband? K self? K, love you bye.